Simply Asian

I don't care how many useless industry "awards" director Will Ryder accumulates - the man is a hack. Typical of his "who cares?" approach to cinema (nowadays = video), is "Simply Asian", delivering to Adam & Eve the equivalent of his stinker for Hustler titled "Island Lays".

Gaia stars in both features, a big-bosomed Oriental star who is definitely worth watching. But nothing of interest transpires during the hour and a half time-killer. The title is truthful: no superlatives dangled in front of the buyer and nothing special delivered.

The other actresses are also beauties, ranging from star London Keyes to French phenom Sharon Lee and a newcomer Saber Takisha, who uses an alternate moniker "Saber Heart" here, perhaps to get the attention of Mel Gibson?

The vignettes are idiotic, culminating in an apotheosis of Scott Lyons getting a pizza delivered by Sharon Lee (if that was her previous job I can see why she turned to humping for a living) and takes out the $80 due in change in trade instead.

Poorly made, picture truly suffers from horrible music that sounds like the theme from "The Love Boat".

Oh well, give this junker an award, handed to Scott for "Consistently bad performance in an Oriental mixed-combo scene".