- Alan: [Referring to the buttons of a suit jacket, from top to bottom] What you have to remember about these is: sometimes, always, never.
- Alan: [Watching Jack play online zombie game] Which is you? The one with a big cleavage, that's you?
- Jack: There is total sexual equality among the undead. It doesn't make any difference which gender you are.
- Alan: So why choose to be a girl with enormous breasts?
- Jack: Stop saying things like that.
- Alan: Not breasts. Bosoms. Assets. Glands. Bazookas. Which do you prefer?
- Jack: Other players are more polite to you if you're a girl.