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6/10
The Queen's Will is the Will of the Queen
23 March 2024
Warning: Spoilers
You probably already know if this is your kind of movie. Campy, violent and packed with gratuitous nudity. However, the most striking thing about it is its sets. They're often large and impressive, qualities they share with a certain other asset in this film. Like many great adventure films, we get to see a wide variety of exotic lands: the crowded markets of Hong Kong, some lush jungles and, most interestingly, the underground labyrinthine city of Yik Yak.

This film is most enjoyable if taken with friends and libations. It had me laughing out loud more than once, usually due to the banter between Gwendoline and Willard. Willard (Brent Huff) plays the paragon of a mercenary hero who is violently uninterested in the quest. Violently is not an understatement. He strikes, insults and otherwise manhandles these two women constantly throughout the film, yet they continue to pursue him, seemingly because he is the only white man in Hong Kong. Oh, also he's really good at killing people. Unfortunately for Gwendoline, this brute is the first man she's ever kissed, and her virginal whims bind her to Willard, leaving her hopelessly in love with him. That appears to be the film's justification for why she keeps pining after him despite his literally nonstop rejections of her.

An hour into the film, they arrive in Yik Yak, a land of topless women in leather lingerie. This half of the movie was something of a let-down. Despite the grand sets, the environment feels sterile. None of the women they meet speak English or even appear to have any kind of inner life. Are they slaves, or perhaps some kind of specially bred automaton? No way to tell, it's never explained. One of them gets eaten by native male captives in the bloodiest moment of the movie.

The villain is alright, she's this flamboyant older woman who has designed this weird civilization because she wants to grow diamonds from the earth. She has a foppish eunuch assistant named D'arcy who is quite entertaining. Honestly, the land of Yik Yak felt quite unimaginative, not really doing anything new with the idea of a fantastical land of "Amazons."
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