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Review of V/H/S Viral

V/H/S Viral (2014)
1/10
V/H/S: Viral sucks balls
29 May 2015
This movie is borderline unwatchable. I tried watching this in two sittings and by the third I fell asleep. It's so bad, it's like they hunted down the worst horror writers and directors in hopes to sabotage a continuing V/H/S franchise and they succeeded. The camera-work is horrendous. It makes the final fight in Alex Cross look like The Raid 2. Awkward edits, annoying static every five seconds, terribly uninteresting plots and terribly written too. It's a shame because there was much potential from the first two V/H/S movies that this could become a good horror anthology franchise because it's such a great premise and found-footage is best in small 20-30 minutes doses but this movie tried to make an actual story with a couple random segments that make no sense.

Gun to my head, if I had to pick the best segment it would have to be the one with the alien penises. That sentence alone should tell you enough about this movie. It was such a dumb segment and it made no sense but actually attempted suspense and some form of story. The main story is dogsh*t. I hate this movie a lot. I remember thinking after V/H/S/2 "man, what a great idea for a horror franchise. I hope they continue these" and then Viral had to come along and take a heaping dump on film and sell it as a V/H/S movie.

If you liked the first two V/H/S movies, don't watch this. Don't ever watch this movie unless you want to feel depressed and p*ssed off in which case by all means V/H/S: Viral is the only thing you should watch. This movie sucks balls. It should have never been made and whoever greenlit this atrocious script should be fired if they haven't been already. I wish I could unwatch this movie. Spare yourselves.
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