May Days

Bluebird Films saluted Wales (and the cause for Welsh independence) in its forgotten feature "Independence Day" - no, not the Will Smith sci-fi blockbuster but a loony comedy of orgies. "May Days" starring busty Alexis May salutes Scotland instead, and its orgy time once more.

A very long cast list is on hand for the lengthy group-sex finale, staged as more or less another ego trip for Bluebird's untalented owner Paul Chaplin. He is always irritating, whether giggling & cackling, humping some poor actress on his payroll, or trying to be amusing with imbecilic Music Hall patter. I was a bit shocked that in the run-up to the orgy, he actually shows a modicum (I'm being generous) of talent, playing live endless riffs based on the Stones' "Jumpin' Jack Flash" on his electric guitar after Alexis makes a fool of herself singing a Scottish folk song off-key.

Of the numerous Brit Porn stars on parade, Alexis dominates the show by humping in most of the seven sex vignettes, while bosomy Yank import Carly Parker brings quite a bit of energy and inane "domineering" remarks to her scene. Plenty of IR content is delivered by the likes of Kaia Kane, Leah Jaye and Katie Weale/Kaliana.

Typical of the dumb jokes is Chaplin, billed via his alternate stage name of "Peter Lee" introducing many of the girls by their nationality prior to the orgy: so and so from Hungary, Czech Republic (the new actress taking the name Victoria Paris -not the great star of the '90s - who steals the orgy scene), and then hitting one who says she's from London, cuing Chaplin to mutter in mock disdain "F*ckin' English!". I took this, along with "Independence Day" to reflect his deep-seated dislike of UK establishment. So if his pet project Bluebird Films hadn't dropped dead several years ago perhaps Chaplin would have released a 3- hour orgy about Brexit.

Clichés about Scotland abound, not amusing just stupid, such as the running gag about the prohibition against wearing anything under one's kilt plus salutes to Beer, clans, haggis, etc. Sometimes the idiocy of a Bluebird story hits me as clever, but not this time.