Showgirls: Exposed

I don't know what I was thinking. Nothing about this film ever promised anything good. The years-long promises of this being an official sequel to Showgirls, having a budget north of 20 million dollars and so on and so forth, and the director's ludicrous display of aggression, bullying and plain stupidity...

Well, when I put in the DVD, I was fully prepared for a so-bad-its-good trash fest. But this is so bad, it's just plain bad.

There are literally no redeeming qualities here. The plot oscillates between laughable and non-existent, the direction doesn't even seem to realize what genre this movie is supposed to belong to, there is no sense of timing to speak of, no sense of place, it's mostly just random, headache-inducing imagery.

Which would still be kind of maybe OK if the images were interesting in some way. Instead the viewer is treated to badly lit scenes of rather plain looking women who clearly are not cut out for this sort of thing. These women are definitely no actresses, and I find it hard to believe they are even professional dancers.

And then there's the music. If you want to call it that. It sounds like a little boy got to play with a synthesizer in a store for a couple of minutes, pressing all buttons while hammering on the keys. In the 1980s.

Showgirls Exposed is not sexy, it's not thrilling, it's not even unintentionally funny. It just hurts your brain and makes you wish DVD-Rs were unaffordable.