Private Specials 9: German MILFs

Private has Italian MILF features, so equal time (can Japan be next?) to Axis Powers with this poorly made feature. IMDb credited the mess to Moire Candy, but on screen Tom Herold received director status.

The conventional wisdom that porn fans are idiots holds here, as the German dialog is crudely dubbed in English (DVD menu does not even list German-track as an option), but once the sex scenes begin, direct sound kicks in and the cast's porn-speak is in untranslated German. This split-personality given to the characters was not amusing, merely odd.

All the girls save one are German, the other truthfully admitting to be a new immigrant from Poland. Breast in show goes to Nicole AKA Kathleen White, whose huge floppy knockers were stimulating. She begins the scene wearing glasses, as most of the vignettes are set in an office -presumably "Office Sex" was the original theme on the drawing board for this junker.

The guys servicing these chicks are quite unimpressive, hardly up to the usual standard of Private or any other Continental porn outfit. Unattractive brunette Vicky W. handles a three-way that is probably the dullest sequence in the video.

The girls range in age (attested to on screen, not necessarily accurate) from 22 to 40, the oldest being the only one technically qualifying for a MILF designation. But the guys aren't particularly young so the premise is merely an excuse for explicit sex, a typical example of the very low standards recently exhibited in Private product. I wonder how this once leading label in the industry makes ends meet nowadays with such generic content.