Beach Movie

I passed out on the couch one night and when I woke up THIS was on cable TV, so I watched it out of the sheer incredulity that anyone would actually remake "Hardbodies" minus the sex and most of the nudity. What you have left is the sorry tale of three middle-aged losers who are being taught how to "pull chicks" by two idiot California surf-dudes (who seem to be channeling the restless, undead spirits of Bill and Ted and the entire male cast of "Saved by the Bell"). What's really pathetic is that this movie actually features some name actors. Bronson Pinchot and Loretta Swit actually appear together in one of those horribly cliched bouncing-car sex scenes (in Iran they have filmmakers shot for putting such scenes in their movies--or at least they ought to). And speaking of people who really should be shot--how about Gabrielle Anwar's agent? This tres gorgeous actress who put the "scent" in "Scent of a Woman" only a few years ago is now appearing in THIS. And while she may look great in a bikini and rose-petal pasties (don't ask), it is definitely not worth subjecting yourself to this movie.