It's the year 3000 -- the Earth's ozone belt has been destroyed by nuclear blasts leaving survivors scouring the scorched landscape for that most precious commodity: H2O. Tough loner Alien (Robert Iannucci) travels this waterless wasteland in a souped-up car called the Exterminator (guzzoline clearly not an issue in this particular future world), the motor kitted out with all manner of gadgetry, including in-car video and bullet-proof armour; this makes him the target of a band of ruthless marauders, led by Crazy Bull (Fernando Bilbao), from whom Alien stole the vehicle, as well as opportunistic post-apocalyptic carjacker Trash (Alicia Moro), who, in the opening sequence, snaffles the Exterminator, leading to a high speed chase that leaves Alien trapped upside down in a wrecked police car.
Rescue comes in the form of ten-year-old Tommy (Luca Venantini), only survivor of an expedition to locate a rumoured underground water supply; he frees Alien from the twisted wreckage and the two from an unlikely alliance. Their journey involves run-ins with Crazy Bull and his gang, a visit to ex-astronaut turned engineer Papillon (Luciano Pigozzi), and encounters with Trash, who ultimately teams up with the guys to find the water.
A prime slice of early'-80s post-apocalyptic cheeze, The Exterminators of the Year 3000 is chock full of stunts, crazy characters, and diabolical dialogue, making it a real hoot for fans of low-budget Mad Max rip-offs. While the action isn't as impressive as the vehicular mayhem in George Miller's classics (what is?), it still looks fairly dangerous and is therefore suitably entertaining, but the film is at its most enjoyable when introducing its more outlandish comic-book elements: the Exterminator's Bond-style gadgetry, Tommy's new and improved bionic arm, Trash's sonic key, the group of mutants who protect their water with Indiana Jones-style booby traps, and the hilarious dialogue ("Into battle, my merry mother-grabbers!", "Unleash the dogs of war", "C'mon you little honey parrot"). I'd definitely liked to have seen director Giuliano Carnimeo push the futuristic angle more (apparently, men have travelled to Mars and Venus, yet Earth-bound transport technology has remained firmly rooted in the 20th century), but I imagine the minimal space-age tech was down to budgetary constraints.
After lots of shooting and explosions, the corny ending sees the heroes' tanker of water accidentally depleted by Crazy Bull's sadistic henchwoman Shadow, and the source of all that H20 destroyed by the mutants, but - as luck would have it - the Earth's damaged atmosphere repairs itself at the same time, leading to a downpour of rain. Cue freeze frame on the ecstatic good guys!
5/10. Anyone expecting the extreme adrenaline rush of the likes of Fury Road will be disappointed, but go into this with the right mindset and a fun time is there to be had.
