I enjoyed the first iteration of Jersey Shore. Not only did it remind me of the things I didn't miss (and was lucky to have lived through) about my youth, but it was always fun to watch these train wrecks go off the tracks, melt down, and otherwise show their a$$es on national TV.
There is something stale about this "Family Vacation" that just can't seem to freshen up, no matter how much "GTL" they throw at it. It's the same, they're basically the same, except wealthier, filled with collagen and plastic surgery, and a LOT more boring. Pauly D, and to some extent, Snookie, are the saving grace, once again, about the show. Problem is, they're unable to save it much.
Speaking of Snookie, she has so much lip collagen (and most probably inserts/implants as well), and such huge balloon boobs, that she looks like a cartoon. A cheap impression of her former authentically cheap self. She's hard to look at. J-Woww is not "wow" anymore. She's a suburban housewife with two kids, and frankly, I never watched the show originally because of her less-than-existent personality. She was hot. Now she's not. Such a shame. She's also quite tired and her tired, droning, Jersey voice is grating to the ear.
Mike Sorrentino had a legal "situation" which calmed him, and the former hard partier is like a monk now, a puffy-cheeked chip-monk. Gone are the scheming, conniving plays of the "Sitch", who so improbably got girls night after night. The guy you loved to hate is now a guy you hate to like.
What can I say about lovesick Ronnie? He's pitiful. H'es lost a lot of brain cells since that original Jersey shore, and hew only had about 16 of them to begin with. He's obviously affected by his drinking, both on and off the show, and so obviously deflated and defeated by the thought of his very pregnant girlfriend about to lock him down for the next 18 years. Oh Ronnie, you don't have to stay, but your'e definitely going to have to pay.
The rest of the cast, including Vinnie, who was never much of an interesting character, and party doll Sammie, who is quite possibly the brains of the show, are barely worth mentioning. Deena is sweet and authentic. She always has been. She's actually my favorite on the show next to Paulie. That's not enough of a draw though.
The fact is, this show is dead, and these "kids" are all grown up with grown up problems. There's no more hedonism about the show. Even in the clubs they look too old and irrelevant. This ain't 5 years ago. When they get their freak on, they just look like freaks. I would pass on the rest of the episodes, but I just have to see what happens to Ronnie. He's in real bad shape.
