Blonde and Blonder

In the ripoff sweepstakes this Bluebird release comes in dead last, not even up to the low standards set by the notorious stinker of this title starring Pamela Anderson & Denise Richards. Since Britain's Bluebird is porn's answer to featherbedding (no pun intended, just a reference to stuffing extra bodies onto the payroll), the grey-matter-challenged title duo is played by three actresses instead of two.

Just when I was getting used to the insipid improvisation of beauties Caprice Jane and Lou Lou in the leads, a couple of vignettes unspool with Stacey Saran replacing LL as Jane's teammate. It hardly matters, because auteur "Max Cool" is intent on boring the loyal Bluebird viewer with five unrelated vignettes running a whopping 3 hours, testing anybody's patience.

I was most thrilled to see a different Jane, namely brunette Sensual Jane of the fabulously natural big tits, pop up on a dungeon set to treat Caprice Jane to some domination and fetish action.

As in another desultory Max Cool opus I watched recently, Bluebird's owner Paul Chaplin shows up to hump several of the women, sharing the male activities with big-dicked Jamie Barry. Unproven but fairly obvious, Max Cool is likely Chaplin himself handling both inept direction and inept sexual performance.

But moneybags PC doesn't stint on the female talent, so we get lots of Glambirds strolling through including Gemma Massey and the underrated Chloe Dee, while several of them have merely to pose in the background as eye candy without having to do XXX stunts. That chore is left to the indefatigable Janes, Lou Lou and Massey in the main. Chief punishment for sitting through this piece of junk is the torture of listening to Chaplin's burlesque routines, which only he among 7.5 billion people on Earth could consider being funny.