Cape Fear/Strictly Business/All I Want for Christmas/Liebestraum/The People Under the Stairs

Roger Ebert - Host: [reviewing "All I Want for Christmas"] How idiotic is it? At the end of "All I Want for Christmas", when everyone gathers at grandma's house, there's an ambulance parked out in front with its lights on, because a house guest is having a baby on the kitchen floor, but nobody ever asks what the ambulance is doing there, and everybody is so distracted by the happy ending, they forgot to even ask if the woman ever had her baby. All I want for Christmas is to forget that I ever saw this movie.

Gene Siskel - Host: Oh, so clever with the title. Uh, I think...

Roger Ebert - Host: I think every critic in the country is gonna use that same line, I hope I was first.

Gene Siskel - Host: [chuckles] I'll criticize it, those are sm- relatively small points. How about that there isn't an attractive character in the movie?

Roger Ebert - Host: No.

Gene Siskel - Host: They're all worthless. And here's another, uh, thing that's wrong with the picture. The husband and wife were estranged at this point... they're perfectly nice when we see them getting together.

Roger Ebert - Host: They have no reason to be estranged!

Gene Siskel - Host: That's number one.

Roger Ebert - Host: They still like each other!

Gene Siskel - Host: Two, the jerk that she's with is a complete jerk.

Roger Ebert - Host: Yes, he is.

Gene Siskel - Host: So why, you gotta write one scene in where the guy's a jerk, who she's not with, and the guy's nice who she IS with.

Roger Ebert - Host: Yeah, so it sets up the tension. You have to have a mistake so it can be corrected.

Gene Siskel - Host: Please.

Roger Ebert - Host: There's nothing wrong at the beginning of the film.

Gene Siskel - Host: Either relationship, all of the characters, and plus your little points.

Roger Ebert - Host: Okay, thank you very much for that, those kind remarks about my "little points".