Time to Work Out

Believe it or not, I used to regularly review exercise videos in the '80s, not really for a living but as part of my job at Variety newspaper (that's one reason why it was called "variety" though what's currently left of the brand hardly qualifies anymore). Screeners ranging from Jayne Kennedy to the great Fonda would stream into the office each week, and in my own inscrutable manner (still reflected in my treating porn with the same respect I would a master filmmaker) I would attempt to review these ephemeral self-help programs as if they were works of art.

And so TIME TO WORK OUT from the British pornographer DiSanto comes as a pleasant surprise - a XXX work that is both stimulating and entertaining. He has his tongue firmly planted in cheek to show his top-heavy UK birds wearing ridiculously high (fetish-level) heels while big-dicked male personal trainers put them through exercises in a makeshift gym set.

Dolly Delight wins the big breasts booby prize and is quite a sight to behold, pretending to be getting into shape. But all the girls here are well-cast (by Anjali Kara, in charge of bookings), with a special nod to the underrated and highly erotic Yuffie Yulan. The guys, led by Jack Mason and Marc Rose, are given to British understatement as they generally maintain a straight face and at least at the outset of each episode attempt to coax the women into real exercise routines. But of course the strenuous ultimate humping here has been proved to burn significant calories.

There are amusing moments to be had in between the purely masturbation- inducing payoffs, and I wonder what Benny Hill might have made of this type of material had Hill's Belles been truly uncensored and calibrated at the modern scale of DDD cups for starters.