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Director: Piyapan Choopetch Review: Adam Wing. Picture the scene. Sigourney Weaver is giving birth to a dying franchise, American werewolves are fleeing from Paris, giant snakes are taking chunks out of J-Lo’s arse and Jennifer Love Hewitt’s breasts are teasing a psychotic fisherman. It gets worse. Warwick Davis is searching for pots of gold (in space), Guillermo del Toro is unleashing swarms of tap dancing cockroaches and Andrew Divoff is granting wishes to a disillusioned horror fan base. With the exception of Scream 2, 1997 wasn’t the best year for horror. Though I still have a soft spot for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Golden Globes. 1998 saw the release of Ringu… and the Dentist 2 but we’ll let that go for now. You might be wondering why I’m telling you this? Well here goes. Had My Ex 2 – Haunted Lover arrived in 1997; there’s a good chance I’d...

Stars: Ratchawin Wongviriya, Atthama Chiwanitchapan, Thongpoom Siripipat, Marion Affolter, Pete Thongchua | Written by Adirek Wattaleela | Directed by Piyapan Choopetch

Those are some pretty exciting names right there. I wouldn’t even know where to begin pronouncing Chiwanitchapan or Thongpoom, but I’m having a lot of fun with them nonetheless. Such is the joy having met only one Thai person in my life so far. I lived with the guy for a year so you totally can’t call me racist for enjoying these subjectively silly names, all right?

Okay, good. Glad we got that cleared up. Why am I babbling on about Asian names, you yell? Well, that’s because the credits are pretty much the only enjoyable part of My Ex 2, a movie whose title could easily be mistake for a garbled text message or – if you squint really hard – some kind of maths formula. For a really bad movie.