Pandora's Box of Trash
A couple of years ago my friends decided to search out some really trashy-looking Movies, put them in a box and give me the whole package as a birthday present. This, of course, kick-started a series of evenings where we would get together and watch these incredible cinematic atrocities, eventually delving into similar movies that weren't contained in the original collection.
These are our findings.
These are our findings.
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- 33 titles
- DirectorEllory ElkayemStarsPeter CoyoteAimee-Lynn ChadwickCory HardrictA college student creates a drug called "Z" and sells it on campus, inadvertently resurrecting the living dead, who wreak havoc at a Halloween rave.A fun Zombie flick which uses the self-awareness of its own stupidity quite well to deliver a lot of pretty enjoyable scenes.
- DirectorKaryn KusamaStarsMegan FoxAmanda SeyfriedAdam BrodyA newly-possessed high-school cheerleader turns into a succubus who specializes in killing her male classmates. Can her best friend put an end to the horror?While this is definitely one of the better-looking movies on this list, at least in terms of cinematography and general visual quality, it doesn't really bring anything noteworthy to the table and ends up being unfunny, uncreative and really boring.
- DirectorJames WongStarsJustin ChatwinJames MarstersChow Yun-FatThe young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power.This movie is everything you'd expect from a western live-action adaptation of this Series. Dumb, entertaining, over the top action and stilted, awkward character 'development' in the guise of a movie which occasionally tries to throw in random elements from its source material. Glorious.
- DirectorOlaf IttenbachStarsOlaf IttenbachAndrea ArbterAndré StryiTommy finds a cursed mirror and a diary in an attic in the new house they moved in. The mirror starts to give Tommy horrible and gruesome visions as his crush keeps rising from the dead.The first movie of german apparently-pioneer of gory special effects, Olaf Ittenbach. Setting the very boring and poorly constructed 'plot' of the first half aside, the second half really manages to impress with the quality of its extremely gory and bloody scenes, especially for a movie of this caliber, having quite the small budget and being mostly self-made by Ittenbach.
- DirectorDavid McCormickStarsMark LaCourTim VerkaikEddie MooreReporter Clint Harrison is sent to investigate a massacre at a Louisiana campground and finds that it may be linked to the Dansen clan an old local family thought to have died out years ago.
- DirectorJames Aviles MartinStarsRobert Lee OliverDonatella HechtNeal RosenSuburban housewives turn into vicious cannibals after committing adultery with the neighborhood womanizer.
- DirectorTerence H. WinklessStarsRobert LansingLisa LangloisFranc LuzHorrifying shocker as a biological experiment goes haywire when meat-eating mutant roaches invade an island community, terrorizing a peaceful New England fishing village and hideously butchering its citizens.
- DirectorJim MakichukStarsRiva SpierMurray OrdSheri McFaddenThree friends on a New Year's Eve snowmobiling excursion find themselves stranded at an abandoned lodge where the elderly female innkeeper is concealing a sinister secret.Honestly, I don't really remember a thing about this one, aside from the fact that we had a blast watching it. Should I watch it again to confirm this vague memory? Probably. Will I watch it again? Probably not.
- DirectorEric WestonStarsClint HowardR.G. ArmstrongJoe CorteseAn outcast military cadet taps into a way to summon demons and cast spells on his tormentors through his computer.'Evilspeak' is quite the embodiment of this whole list. It's trashy, it's 80s, it's boringly slow-paced yet hilariously written and just very nonsensical in general.
- DirectorDarin FerriolaStarsWilliam BassettHoward BergerJaime BergmanTwo thieves down on their luck get hired to steal the Rock of Lazarus, an ancient relic capable of returning evil souls to earth.This movie is the only one on this list that I actually rated 10/10 just for the fun of it, solely because the german dub is so hilariously unprofessional that it managed to elevate the watching experience to quite the new level of entertainment.
Other than that, it's still dumb fun. - DirectorJoseph EllisonStarsDan GrimaldiCharles BonetBill RicciA disturbed young man who was burned as a child by his sadistic mother stalks women with a flamethrower.
- DirectorAntony BalchStarsMichael GoughRobin AskwithVanessa ShawJason Jones and Judy Peters, young British people, meet on a train heading to the country. They stay with odd characters in a secluded mansion, where deranged Dr. Christian Storm is using his guests for surgical mind-control experiments.Ah, what a time capsule. Another really good one, even if only due to its dated effects, hilarious editing and cheesy acting. A certain scene involving a car and a buzzsaw had us howling with laughter.
- DirectorGary WinickStarsKyle RichardsWendell WellmanJohn PutchTwo escaped brothers track down the people who sentenced them to death row, including a doctor and the judge. But when they get to the D.A. and his family they have an especially lengthy revenge plot in mind for them.
- DirectorJohn CarrPhillip MarshakTom McGowanStarsBarbara WylerJamie ScogginStacey Lyons"Night Train to Terror" is a 1985 horror anthology movie where God and Satan are on a train discussing the fate of three individuals.To be honest, I'm not too sure about this one. It's bad, obviously, but I really liked the premise and general idea behind this story, despite its obvious cheesiness. Unfortunately, it's just too long and clumsily structured. It just keeps going on and on while simultaneously not going anywhere, sadly making the final, very intense moments frustrating to bear.
- DirectorRobert FuestStarsErnest BorgnineEddie AlbertIda LupinoA satanist cult leader is burnt alive by the local church. He vows to come back to hunt down and enslave every descendant of his congregation, by the power of the book of blood contracts, in which they sold their souls to the devil.Hey, this one has John Travolta's first movie appearance! And somehow William Shatner? Interesting, to say the least.
- DirectorPeter CarterStarsChad EverettJoseph BottomsJennifer WarrenDrillers on an oil rig near Antarctica discover that they have accidentally brought up several prehistoric eggs. One egg hatches and becomes an unstoppable creature. Chad Everett and Jennifer Warren risk their lives to stop it.
- DirectorTerry M. WestStarsJennifer LeighSergio JonesClark Beasley Jr.Six parapsychologists investigate a reputed haunted mansion and are set upon by three flesh-eating succubus ladies under the control of the sinister warlock owner bent on finding a mysterious amulet to give himself more power.
- DirectorTony RandelStarsRosalind AllenAmi DolenzSeth GreenA group of troubled teenagers are led by social workers on a California wilderness retreat, not knowing that the woods they are camping in have become infested by mutated, blood-sucking ticks.
- DirectorScott P. LevyStarsWilliam KattAlexandra PaulMonte MarkhamRemake of the classic film tale of nature biting back. When flesh-eating piranhas are accidentally released into a summer resort's rivers, the guests become their next meal.
- DirectorJoe D'AmatoStarsGeorge EastmanAnnie BelleCharles BorromelA priest-doctor chasing a man with supernatural regenerative abilities, who has recently escaped from a medical lab, reaches a small town where the mutant goes on a killing spree.The initial fun we had with this one mostly came from the fact that the back of the DVD described a plot that had *nothing* to do with this one; it was referencing another movie (that other movie apparently being this one's predecessor, which we obviously didn't know at the time).
As for the movie itself, it's one of the most poorly edited and even censored Horror Movies I've ever seen. - DirectorAndrew StevensStarsAndrew StevensStella StevensChick VenneraIn a post-apocalyptic world full of terrifying mutants known as gargoyles, survivors of the last human colony battles against intruding gargoyles a few miles below the Earth's surface.
- DirectorHasan KaracadagStarsÜmit AcarEbru AykaçFulya CandemirA cruel suicide wave spreads from the United States to a small Turkish town, where a man kills himself after spending time on the computer. His friends are still getting disturbing emails from him.
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsLee HorsleyKathleen BellerSimon MacCorkindaleA mercenary with a three-bladed sword rediscovers his royal heritage's dangerous future when he is recruited to help a princess foil the designs of a brutal tyrant and a powerful sorcerer in conquering a land.This one is just glorious. A fantasy flick from the early 80s that somehow manages to be surprisingly entertaining.
- DirectorStan WinstonStarsLance HenriksenJeff EastJohn D'AquinoAfter a tragic accident, a man conjures up a towering, vengeful demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy a group of unsuspecting teenagers.
- DirectorKôji ShiraishiStarsKotoha HiroyamaHiroaki KawatsureShigeo ÔsakoA doctor kidnaps a young couple and forces them into a game of torment that slowly extinguishes their hopes for survival.
