Lapdog

Two desultory vignettes, not even living up to the "Taboo" part of the Pure Taboo label mandate, make up this poor Adult Time DVD. Both were shot by the same team: Midnight writing, Anatomik Media team directing and Hungarian Zsolt Abraham editing.

Title scene "Lapdog" is a ridiculous story for a private eye episode, more risible than believable, but serving the sole purpose of introducing two strangers who soon are f*cking on cue. Incidentally, he also forgot to write an ending to the vignette.

Chad Alva plays a private eye doing surveillance on Charlotte Sins' home, photographing her to provide evidence that she's been cheating, with her suspicious husband paying his fees. He watches her exercising, and then taking out the garbage, but decides to knock on her door (post-production ineptly nearly drowns out the knocking sound with music, a goof) and aks to speak to Charlotte.

The rest of the scene is phony, as he reports how her hubby hired him to spy but he came up empty with his surveillance and admires her faithfulness. Both of them agree her husband is unworthy, having suspected her when she's wholly innocent, and Chad offers to look the other way if she misbehaves with another man, including himself.

After minimal coaxing, Charlotte agrees to have sex with him -they go at it mechaniclly on her couch for over half an hour and that's the end.

Result is not only a stupid story but one without a final plot twist -it's just 45 minutes of sex killing time. Perhaps a story with the husband shown, and either he, or Chad (or even Charlotte for that matter) up to some trick might have been interesting.

In "Heat of the Moment", tall lady Bella Rolland has sex with repairman Ken Feels in this deadly dull excuse of a porn segment. Taboo it ain't.

She's sweltering at home in the heat, and good old Ken shows up at her door to fix her air conditioning. From Pure Taboo's #1 hack writer Midnight, it's about as scintillating an intro as having the pizza boy arrive with a delivery.

Ken checks out the AC unit outside, and then comes back inside to fiddle with the thermostat -he sets it at 90 degrees, so for a moment I thought we would be watching some underhanded story. However, it just unfolds as boringly and phonily as a bad dirty joke.

He tells Bella while he's working that maybe she'd be more comfortable taking her top off. She does, without making any objection, and then he suggests that removing her shorts might also help. The lanky beauty complies, leaving her alluringly clad just in her panties.

Finally he reports that he need to get a replacement part, but has many further appointments to attend to, so he'll return tomorrow to get her cooling system working again. Bella objects, impatient to get back to normal. Ken offers to cancel all her appointments and fetch the part now, to quickly finish the job, if she'll make it worth his while. She agrees, and the fu*king commences.

I expected the ending to be his admitting no part was necessary, but instead, after his money shot a nude Ken announces he's off to fetch the part. The End.