Mamma ho perso il cane

If you thought you'd never see 'Home Alone' meets 'Jaws', then you're in for a surprise as Kevin Sorbo delivers an almost faithful rendition of Robert Shaw's famed shark-hunter as he attempts to subdue a pesky mutt who's proving a handful for a trio of bumbling thieves trying to ransack a house on Christmas.

Beyond Sorbo's brief parody, it's rank amateur hour as the thieves become increasingly frustrated by the dog's spirited defence of its owner's property, leading to predictable results. David DeLuise and Kim Little co-star as the anxious parents desperate to return home and reunite their kids with the beloved pets.

The gags nearly all fall flat (a couple are also questionable), and the paper-thin plot is unable to sustain the overlong 95 minute run-time on this over-cooked Christmas turkey. There's cheap and cheerful and then there's cheap and nasty, and this cringeworthy claptrap is firmly the latter.