Pina Colada

A pleasant romantic diversion from Wicked Pictures, Eddie Nova's "Pina Colada" succeeds in wrapping its sex scenes in a mood of escapism. Its chief fault has to do with 2023 budgets for porn projects, which I'll address later in this review.

Lovely Lumi Ray is the manager at Soft Spot Resort, and the movie delivers four lengthy sex vignettes of guests and fraternizing staff getting down. Director Nova's script throws in okay subplots that are treated with extreme brevity, not to take up much time better devoted to the XXX content.

There's plenty of sloppiness here, making me suspect that the days of hiring script or continuity people are long gone. In an "introducing the cast" opening to the movie, Lumi gives the wrong names and misleading names (she refers to one couple that is dating as "The Simmons" implying they are married); and Wicked Pictures which gives individual titles to scenes (since even full movies are chopped up into vignettes for website exposure or streaming) has Part 4 of "Pina Colada" subtitled: "Lusting after the Lifeguard", intentionally misleading as a come-on for the viewer to want to watch. There is no lifeguard, in fact for budget reasons the Soft Spot Resort consists of a tiki bar, bedrooms and outdoor couches -no pool, no ocean, no nothing. Even a big luau party is not shown, just the cheapest possible production value.

Least interesting story line has Wicked's contract wonder boy Seth Gamble in a nothing role, vacationing with his girl friend Theodora Day and ending up popping the question. Charles Dera is on the outs with his sexy wife Queenie Sateen -he's even pondering divorcing her. He lusts after a model on line named Pina Colada, but is in for a big surprise. Lucas Frost is the bartender/masseur who scores with a guest. And a big butt (and bust) newcomer Lexi Victoria (aka Lexi Sample) has her expensive new diamond bracelet stolen -whodunit?

There's enough (though minimal in terms of total running time) "plot" here to avoid the movie from being pegged in the "All-Sex" virtual rack jobber's bin (sadly, that category attracts rather than turns off a mass audience for porn). But it's true in the sense that there is no longer much incentive for creating real characters or full-scale stories in Adult Entertainment anymore, a result I attribute to an unsubtle brainwashing of the consumer -belittling story porn in general by industry media plus the effect of free, amateur and web-cam style internet content that is all-sex, reflecting Gresham's law of the bad driving out the good in the marketplace generally.