Tonight I watched the premiere of "To Be Fat Like Me" in hopes that someone had finally gotten it right. With the idea that someone had at last made a film to empower the larger women of the world, I happily set my night aside in preparation of being touched by a film that would show the world how I feel. How disappointed I was when I learned what the movie was really about. This wasn't a movie for fat women at all, contrary to the commercials that were run for weeks before the premiere of this pathetic lesson in moral fiber for skinny women the world over. I had such hopes that someone had come to the slow conclusion that we aren't fat because we can't stop eating. At least, I'm not. I'm fat for many reasons. The first being, I don't believe that skinny is pretty. The second, and most important, is that I would rather live my life as happy and wonderful and comfortable with myself as I am and die at 50 than live until 108 always fighting to be someone I'm not. Never before in this world has there been such an obsession with fat. Never have our body standards been so small that I at 230lbs (and 5'6") could not go into any store and find clothes. Five years ago, I could walk into any store I passed by and buy jeans. Now I walk into every store I pass by simply to ask them what the biggest size of jeans they carry is. And the ever ecstatic response? "Oh, don't you worry ma'am! We have very big sizes here. We go all the way up to a 14! We definitely have clothes for you!" And I say in response, "Perhaps you haven't noticed, but I'm an 18." The idea that we are so morally inculpable that we allow the magazines and television shows and retail stores to govern our size is absolutely beyond me. I am my own woman. I am big, and I am beautiful. I am not unhealthy. There is a very big difference between big and unhealthy. I have known so many skinny women in my life that were absolutely revolting in a bikini for one simple fact. They may be a size two, but they have cellulite. We think that skinny equals pretty. But, let me tell you. It's your soul, your smile, and your eyes that make you beautiful. And this movie will never ever be a good movie to me. The moral of this film is that you skinny people should understand our fat plight and not make fun of us, but try your best to sympathize and gently push us to our thin potential. Well, that's a crock. I promise you that, no matter how sweet and gentle, the first person that befriends me to attempt to save me from my food will have a very rude awakening.
