The battle for the area known as the Rhineland in World War II deserves a film to be made about it, but this isn't it. Now look, I am all for small independent films being made. It seems every week there is another World War II movie that's been made by a little company or a Foreign Film that got a distributor and you know some of these films are really good, and some of them are average and some of them are packaged up too look like a very professional movie but are in fact a big pile of steaming lunch, unfortunately this movie is the latter. Realising it must have been a labour of love for someone I tried really hard to find something, anything about this utter tripe that was redeemable, but I came with a big fat zero.
The other thing I take issue with is this - People seem to think that putting a tank on the front of the cover of their film somehow makes it look like a bigger production, which it would, if you actually had a tank in your film, which it does not. Sorry, but I take an issue with being lied to and this film sticks it to you right up the rear end when it comes to that.
It's basically about a group of soldiers who were assigned to an Anti-Tank unit but ended up in a mine laying squad, and looking at people lay mines, isn't very interesting which is what they spend the first bit of the movie doing. They spend the rest of it talking in tents and shouting when under fire, you won't remember a single line of what they say, because all of it is so unmemorable that all you want to do is forget you watched this movie. Added to this all the characters in the movie are basically one dimensional men in khaki and at first your trying to remember them, then after 15 minutes you really don't care. While attempting to follow what little story there is someone then goes and distracts you with some god awful acting that makes you loose total focus in the story. Consequently we really don't care about any of these men. The script, such as it is, reads like someone just watched Saving Private Ryan and a couple of other war movies and mixed a few lines up. Such classics as 'You'd better get your sh-t together...' and 'He's dead goddammit!' are included for free for your viewing pleasure. There's lots of talk of flanks and suppressing bunkers, which isn't really a proper bunker, as they couldn't afford to build one, it's an MG Nest in a hut with a camouflage net over it. - which just doesn't make for very thrilling viewing. The camera work seems to have been shot by three different DOP's, perhaps as a result of filming over two years as someone else stated, the culmination of which is a really shoddy and inconsistent mix. Someone obviously watched Band of Brothers and thought that moving the camera around a lot was a good idea, which it maybe, if you have the skill and talent of Band of Brothers behind you.
It has all the appearance of a group of guys who do some WW2 re- in-acting and thought it might be fun to get together and make a movie and for them it was probably fun, considerably more so than it was to actually watch this. Most re-in-actors are not actors, that's why they don't act in films and do leading roles. The acting is, well, terrible to be honest. Some of the supporting actors are okay, but the leading guys are really pitiful, but it's as much down to the bad direction, so you can't completely blame them.
One of the biggest problems with Rhineland, is that it doesn't look like the Rhineland, I know, I was there last week visiting the actual battlefields. The tone of the film, which is almost entirely green makes the look of the movie flat and characterless, I'm not sure what format they shot it on, but it might as well have been SVHS. Some shots make the film look like its set in the summer, while others are in winter, is this February 1945, or December 1944? Sometimes there is snow, then there is no snow, then there is snow again.... but the movie might take place over a few days or a few months... but really by then I couldn't be bothered to work it out. While the film makers had some access to nice kit that doesn't make for a good film and its wasted here.
My copy had some real sound issues to, maybe their on the actual film, I'm not sure, even the titles at the beginning fade up then down, then up again at the start (Who edited this?) There could have been a good little film here, if someone had sat down and said, okay how can we make this interesting? But it looks like no one really gave it much thought beyond finding an excuse for a few skirmishes that could have been shot, well in a wood anywhere really. If your idea of a movie is watching someones home video of some re- in-actors fighting World War 2 in the woods with some awful dialogue between scenes that is almost laughable then this film might be for you. The soundtrack seems really out of place too, and more suited to an American Civil War movie. The last 90 or so minutes of my life was pretty painful, this movie can at least take credit for that. My copy will be finding its way to a charity shop near you soon. Not even worthy of staying in my collection.
