This is about 1,000 times more bizarre than Barney & Friends (and that show was majorly foozed up). I actually sat through an entire episode, and by the final credits my brain had tied itself into a knot. Oh, and don't worry about me being biased just because I saw only one episode. You wanna know WHY I'm not biased? Tell 'em Johnny:
Johnny: 'Cause all of the episodes are exactly da same! Ha cha-cha-cha!
Thank you. Here's your typical Teletubbies episode: We see a laughing infant child in the sun, a submarine periscope pops up out of nowhere and tells the Teletubbies what to do, and then one of those spinning toy fans appears and blows dust, making the Teletubbies happy. Okay, wanna hear what really happened now? By obeying the sinister periscope slash Big Brother government, and thus making their Sun Baby God happy, the Teletubbies are rewarded with cocaine. Eh-oh...
Here are some more oddities: The fact that the Teletubbies have this insanely eerie vacuum cleaner slash elephant alien. And the inevitable part of the show where a random Teletubby's belly screen shows us some kids coloring or playing. The fun part of that? We get to see the same footage TWICE. Finally, Roger Ebert once complained that kids could only tell the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles apart from their color or weapon of choice. I say the same for the Teletubbies. They have no personality and can only be told apart by their weird dangly shape things that sit on their noggins.
Oh, and don't even get me started on Tinki Winki. No, it's not a Magic Bag Tinki, it's your purse. Nope, don't wanna hear it. Nadda! Also, you are PURPLE and the dangly shape that's on your head is an ever lovin' TRIANGLE! Not that there's anything WRONG with that, of course, but I just think it's funny how everyone acts like he's not gay. What, we can't have a gay character in a kid's show? Why not??
In short, this is one crrazy show, wouldn't you say so Johnny?
Johnny: You are correct sir! Yes! Ha cha-cha-cha...
