How times have changed: back in the early 90s, I had an unhealthy obsession with horror, my Mega-Bass Walkman only played metal, and LA bad-girl Traci Lords was my pin-up of choice.
These days, I listen to my metal on an iPod!
If like me, you have a lifelong love of scary movies, get excited by the sound of a wailing guitar, and even more so by the sight of a certain impossibly pouty ex-porn star, then Shock 'Em Dead should prove to be be a suitably fun way to pass the time.
The luscious Traci Lords plays Lindsay Roberts, manager of rock band Spastic Colon, who are desperately in need of a good guitarist; when geeky pizza parlour employee Martin (Stephen Quadros) fails to impress the band with his widdling, he sells his soul to the devil in exchange for a cool new persona (he gives himself the name 'Angel'), godlike skills on a double-sided guitar (six strings are for pussies), incredible wealth, and a trio of sexy sluts to cater for his every whim. After another audition with the band, Martin gets the gig and rock-star status finally looks like it is in the bag; the only problem is, Martin must regularly feed on the life-force of others to remain alive...
A heavy rock reworking of Faust, the plot for Shock 'Em Dead isn't exactly original stuff, but although it's an oft told tale, the film still succeeds thanks to director Mark Freed's good natured, tongue-in-cheek approach to proceedings, which wisely opts to ladle on the cheese (indeed, in one scene in the pizza establishment, a whole bowlful of the stuff gets overturned) rather than to try and go for genuine scares.
During the course of the film we get some very silly rock songs (the kind of thing you might hear from parody metal band Steel Panther), plenty of boobies, some silly comedy, a few dodgy special effects (green glowing eyes and shonky transitions achieved through slow fades), and some knowingly bad performances from its game cast (which includes 50s hunk Troy Donahue, and genre regular Aldo Ray).
I give this daft slice of B-movie nonsense a very reasonable rating of 6.5/10 for being so delightfully absurd, but refuse to round it up to 7, as I would normally do, due to the complete lack of skin from Ms. Lords (she made this film only four years after giving up porn; I expected more).
