Far East

Oh, look! It's Tom Cruise's boss in Cocktail, and he's running another bar in the Philippines! In this one though, he employs scantily clad local girls to dance to some of the worst 80's obscure disco tunes the decade that fashion forgot threw up, and for some reason, it's a roaring success!

Bet, get this... his ex-lover is back in town. And, as you can tell by the poster, there's still a 'spark' there. She's married to a journalist who's looking to uncover some dirt on an illegal slavery racket, and needless to say: when the cats away, the mice will play. But when said journo gets kidnapped by corrupt local officials and he's the only one who can save his old flame's hubby, to say he's conflicted is putting it mildly.

Far East has a good final climax, which involves an action packed incursion into enemy territory and a bit of a shock ending. But to get there, you have to tolerate the tedious mooning of our central couple (Will they? Won't they? Who cares?) and some of the most awful excuses for dancing since John Sergeant was on Strictly. I don't think I'll be picking up the soundtrack, either. Bee Geez, what have you done?!

Final Verdict: It's okay, but get ready to roll your eyes and cringe. A lot. 5/10