Ingredients needed for a good coming of age teen beach sex comedy:
1 A couple of hunks with blonde hair, blue eyes, lots of pecs and no discernible personality as main characters.. CHECK
2 A nerd with a bowl haircut and thick glasses who gets on everybody's nerves because INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ARE NEVER ANY FUN.. CHECK
3 Two sexy young girls on vacation who start off hating our heroes but gradually, through the course of the film.. CHECK
4 At least one prudish middle-age adult who start off disapproving of the teenage hormones that surround him but gradually, throughout the course of the film.. CHECK
5. A female lifeguard in a swimsuit who is a total bombshell.. I wonder who'll be the first to pretend to be drowning so they can.. you know.. tee hee.. CHECK
6. A pair of dopey cops who try to stop the party for reasons unknown, but always end up losing.. usually tied up, with their trousers down and a pair of humiliating boxer shorts exposed.. CHECK
7. A campfire scene where everybody confesses their deepest darkest secrets and past mistakes cos, you know, even silly little films like this can have a SOUL too.. CHECK
8. Who can forget the classic skinny-dipping bit? Better make it at night though, and at a distance.. that way the young starlets won't get too embarrassed.. CHECK
9. The mandatory final love scene, which involves lots of kissing, drippy background music.. but not much in the way of movement. Oh well, as long as she's got a nice rack.. CHECK
10. Put a nice montage of all the lead characters playing on the beach over the end credits, just to show that even though summer may be finished, THE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP ARE ETERNAL!! Bless.. CHECK
Oh yeah.. I almost forgot about the dog who is trained to steal bikini tops. That's a laugh, seeing this puppy with a bra in its mouth being pursued by a Playmate while she flops all over the place. Comedy gold! Benny Hill, eat your heart out! Oh, I can't go without mentioning.. wait, is anybody there.. HELLO? HELLO? I haven't finished yet!! 0/10
