The Xmas hook is irresistible to pornographers, but hack director Jakodema of Digital Playground went for "insulting the audience" in this 6-part attempt at lowbrow sex comedy. Its DVD version runs 208 minutes including at least 15 minutes of repeated credits for each episode, recaps and stupdly coming attractions incorrectly labeled as "Previously in...".
Ryan Driller plays a drunken Santa, but it turns out he's the real one. His magical suit creates and removes instantly his fat belly, a gimmick to make it easier for him and replacement Santas have explicit sex with trim bodies, the male cast often hiding behind their white facial hair the way stag movie studs hid behind masks a century ago.
Driller's Santa is weary of his job, delivering toys annually to "nice" children. He arrives at Daniel Hunter's bar and given a cool reception, but convinces Hunter and his pals Dane Cross and Tommy Pistol to pinch-hit for the night, delivering the toys. Meager special effects are included for their magical appearances and disappearances in front of fireplaces (no reindeer included in this version of the holiday myth).
The six scenes are crummy, even though they're the only reason for this exercise. One such extraneous XXX scene has Dick Chibbles as an FBI agent (explained as "Female Boobs Investigator" six times in a typically unfunny credit) humping Morgan Lee by a pool, having nothing to do with the rest of the show. Simlarly, Episode Six takes us back to the North Pole to watch elves Sara Luvv and Sasha Heart have Sapphic Elvish sex.
The rest is slapstick and idiotic dialog, reaching a nadir when Pistol brings up the spirit of Christmas and volunteers to replace Driller permanently as St. Nick in a fake serious/sentimental moment. Cast of innumerable beauties is wasted, including having Eva Angelina on screen for just a few seconds.
