Bikini Spring Break doesn't reach the atrocious depths that Celebrity Sex Tape and especially Sex Pot fell into. It is still a dire movie though, in fact none of the Asylum teen comedies are remotely good with Barely Legal being the least bad(and personal ranking for that movie was 3/10). The only things that stop Bikini Spring Break from being rated any lower are Robert Carradine, the best and only actor in the movie to reach decent level and the beauty of Rachel Alig. Other than that the acting is just awful, there is next to no knack for comic timing and like the other teen comedies from the Asylum the girls are hot but their acting talents certainly do not match. That's not all that bad in Bikini Spring Break. The characters are not interesting or likable in the slightest and are just plain obnoxious. The dialogue is the very meaning of crass and unfunny as well as unbelievably stupid. The story just isn't there and is little more than an excuse to string along tired comedy and nudity scenes, never does it seem to go anywhere. The direction also seems to be non-existent, it reads of just do what you think you can do best and we'll capture it on screen quality, and seems to be reliant on the actors rather than the dialogue. Seeing as the acting is bad, that was a failure. The production values look cheap, the scenery and lighting look over-saturated and plastic-looking, and the editing was clearly done by an amateur. The soundtrack and such is not particularly memorable and does very little in driving the movie, it just seems...there for the sake of having to be there. All in all, not the worst of the Asylum teen comedies but still dire. 2/10 Bethany Cox
