La leggenda del Titanic

100 years ago the RMS Titanic disembarked on its maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City. The ship was considered unsinkable and faster than any other ship by the crew and by the passengers. But the Titanic met her demise on the morning of April 15, 1912, costing over a thousand people their lives. Titanic to this day is considered one of the most devastating disasters in history.

Why am I going through all this? Because, what we didn't know was that the whole reason the ship sunk was because of a whaling scheme that involved sinking the Titanic by making talking sharks convince a talking giant octopus to unknowingly throw an iceberg in the direction of the ship just to cover their tracks. And there were talking mice on board and talking dolphins to try and help the ship. WHAT?!

Yes according to The Legend of the Titanic(released two years after the multi-billion dollar grossing blockbuster) that is the reason the Titanic went under. Perhaps I'd better go over the details.

Well an old mouse is telling his grand-kids his adventure aboard the Titanic(and no it's nothing like An American Tail)and explains that a rich girl named Elizabeth and her family were boarding the Titanic and the girl's father was a giant in the whaling business. She's engaged to a man named Maltravers who she clearly dislikes and passes by a group of gypsies. She meets eyes with one gypsy named Don Juan and the two instantly fall in love.

Somewhere along the line Elizabeth gets the power to talk to animals(long pointless explanation)and learns of Maltraver's true intent to force her father to give him some whaling rights. It turns out Maltraver's can communicate with a group of sharks and they get a giant octopus to move an iceberg in the direction of the Titanic.

From the there the film seems predictable; the ship sinks, people die, huge tragedy. But no, the octopus holds the ship together long enough to make sure every passenger gets in a lifeboat(despite the fact there weren't enough lifeboats) and even saves the captain who famously went down with the ship. In the end nobody dies. Let me say that again. NONE OF THE PASSENGERS ON THE TITANIC DIED! That's right kids, did you have a great granddad who boarded the Titanic? Oh he didn't die, he's just hiding.

From my summation of the movie it doesn't sound so ungodly awful. Let me assure you it is. It takes the tragedy of Titanic and sprinkles it with its anti-whaling message and talking animals and happy ending where no one dies. Don't get me wrong whaling is bad but what does it have to do with the hundreds of people who lost their lives in what could've been an easily avoided tragedy. And you know what? That's what this movie is, a potentially easily avoided travesty.

This film is so bad if it weren't for the fact that there is no 0 star rating I wouldn't even rate it with 1 star. It's an insult to the lost souls of Titanic and to the target audience the movie was going for and to audiences in general. If you can just avoid it.