House

I didn't even realize this was a Ted Dekker story until the end of the film, which explains a lot. He's also responsible for the "story" in the lame Seven knockoff cleverly titled "Three". He also writes Christian horror, whatever the hell that means. Michael Madsen is usually a recipe for disaster in any movie not titled Reservoir Dogs, and he screws it up here as well. Apparently Christian horror is about as effective as Christian rock. It looks like horror, kinda smells like horror, but it's not really horror. I'm not too religious myself, but being a Christian doesn't mean you have to stomach half-baked garbage like this just because it's written by someone who touts himself as a Christian writer. It's like liking those horrifyingly bad Left Behind books. Don't excuse bad writing just because the writer is a Christian. That's weak sauce. Use your head, people. There is also no reason for this to be rated R whatsoever. I can't remember any swearing and there was hardly any blood considering all the death in the film. There's an interesting concept in the flick somewhere but it gets lost in the shoddy camera-work and hit-or-miss acting that proves everyone involved is not quite ready for prime time. It gets one extra star for the awesome Bill Moseley, though he's wasted in this disappointing wanna-be horror film. Ted Dekker and Dan Brown should get together. Maybe between them they might be able to come up with a fully-functioning story. I said might...