When you watch a film like Kuch Naa Kaho, you are reminded that when it comes to cowardice, Bollywood artists are pretty much on the top. They have the business acumen and the creative ability to make films which are pleasing to the discerning viewer as well as the cash registers. But they lack the conviction to go with what their gut says. They lack the conviction to make cinema. But somewhere along the way, they have developed enough technical skills to make glossy 3-hour commercials with intermittent jingles.
They will spend so much of their energy on scouting locations, hiring casting coups, marketing the film to the distributors, selling music rights, selling television rights, recording the 7-8 jingles (mostly it is their length that qualifies them as songs), color-coordinating the costumes and production designs, creating hoardings and posters and teasers... but the script and the characters are of no importance. You can make films to please the box-office that don't completely massacre your intelligence as well and still have the final product (that's what they seem to call it, because they don't make films anymore ) be intrinsically Bollywoodish.
Aishwariya Rai is a living example of the depth of human-like behaviour expected from "Bollywood heroines". She has flawless complexion, dancing skills and color coordination skills. And just like your pet dog, she can smile, cry, be silent and get all cutesy, on cue. But when it comes to character portrayal, she wouldn't know where to begin because neither her nor the script are interested in it.
According to the Bollywood Bible, God created man, and then he recreated a better version and then another and another till he perfected man. And then, since God was not the only perfect entity (man joining him in that elite club) anymore, they both got together and created woman. Man gave the design specifications and God having the technical knowhow, adhered to them - Man argued that he would have to live with the women so he should have his way. Abhishek Bachan's character in the movie is one such man. He just can't do no wrong - and also he can right all the wrongs done by Ash's character. Abhishek Bachan is an actor with tremendous potential - which is evident even from the limited scope his films have given him to perform, so far. But either he doesn't want to choose better scripts or perhaps they are not coming his way yet. Hopefully we will see him show us what he is capable of before his streak of commercial duds sinks him into oblivion.
Rohan Sippy, son of Ramesh Sippy, has inherited the father's name but not his knack for filmmaking. But then Sippy Sr. had Salim-Javed as writers. Hopefully in future he will have the at least the guts to do something more refreshing and entertaining.
Oh by the way, script seems to have been created on the sets which Sharmishtha Roy picked up on her way to the shoot from one of the Chopra or Johar films. The cinematography has been taken from a template derived from the DDLJ, KKHH and KKKG stable. And the talented composers Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy have given their worst soundtrack to date I believe. Well at least it blends in with the rest of the dismal elements of the film.
If want to watch a romantic comedy, watch Chupke Se instead. 4/10.
