The Last Condom

One of the all-time greats of porn, Anthony Spinelli, made this lousy video, but blame goes to its executive producer Dennis Sobin, who also gets to have sex as a cast member and even sings a crummy song over the titles.

Yes, it's no myth that a porn producer can use his position and money to have sex on screen -this is an obvious test case. Worthy of Mel Brooks' "The Producers" premise, this one seems intentionally bad -failure is the only (and intended) option I inferred while watching.

Overall it resembles a poorly-done XXX riff on tv's "Love -American Style", with four vignettes set at a motel showing a variety of couples having sex and minor romance/dramatics. But to guarantee crappiness, the script has a pair of talking condom boxes (?!) chatting idiotically between scenes, as the cast get a condom from the motel bathroom to facilitate safe sex in each segment. Director Spinelli voices the Trojans box (using famous generic stage name George Spelvin in the credits) while a Fiesta box is voiced by Richard Pacheco, star of some of Spinelli's finest movies back in the day.

The four sex scenes vary widely in content and quality but still add up to zero. Shana McCullough is appealing, naturally, as a purer than the driven snow prostitute, but saddled with humping client Dennis Sobin, an unappealing wannabe (yes, the producer of this junker) who is dead weight on screen, with a fake-looking Groucho moustache. He pays her many hundreds of dollars for some sex, perhaps symbolic of his real-life stance. The scene goes nowhere, has no edge and is utterly pointless, worthy of not getting into the final print except for Dennis being the boss.

Jon Martin plays a boorish type who balks at partner Megan Leigh's insistence that he put on a condom; and leadoff scene of Joey Silvera clumsily convincing Ariel Knight to have sex with him. Final scene is not only poor but suddenly pretentious, as Ona Zee and Robert Bulloch have sex mechanically after no set-up -just removing their clothes, resulting in no money shot but merely Robert showing a full condom. Afterward suddenly they're both overly dramatic, as Ona Zee reveals that at work the job Bulloch was counting on getting as a promotion has gone to a woman he detests instead, leaving this couple angry at each other post-coitus.

The talking condom boxes get the last word, prior to a reprise by Dennis of his immortal song "Rubber Love" over the end credits.