This p*ss-poor Walter Mitty porn comedy has the distinction of casting an untalented fat slob as its title hero, the spoiler being that what one would bet would be a NonSex role turns out disgustingly to be a chance for him to have sex with three porn stars: Sharon Mitchell, Nicole London and Chanel. It's a sorry sight. I suspect his being editor of AVN got him this mercy casting.
It's amateur night under director Loretta Sterling (yes a male director with that name). Billing has Loretta caling himself "Fig-aroo Schmucker". Crummy sets and lame attempts at comedy support the grotesque sight of this guy having sex with the girls. He looks remarkably like the old-age persona of Ron Jeremy, almost an imitation except that instead of a 9-incher, he has a small dick.
After his final cum shot, Kernes talks directly to the camera, giving the poor porn viewer a pep talk, on the order of: if he can have sex with porn stars there's hope for poor slobs everywhere. I just hope they never sit through junk this sad (literally) excuse for a movie.
