Voyage of the Rock Aliens

A low-budget mid'-80s musical starring pint-sized sex kitten Pia Zadora: how could this be anything but a disaster? The funny thing is, I just watched the film and enjoyed it much more than I expected, yet I'm still asking how it could be anything but a disaster. I mean, the plot is atrocious, the dialogue diabolical, and the special effects like something I might achieve with my minimal knowledge of motion graphics software. By all rights, it should be unbearable, but I found myself charmed by its goofiness, and actually thought the musical numbers were pretty good. Zadora is no Olivia Newton-John, but she acquits herself well enough in the singing and dancing departments, if not the acting.

The film opens on a spacecraft manned by musical aliens who are travelling across the universe on a scientific mission, searching for rock music. After passing on several planets (including one where Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora flirt with each other, much to the annoyance of a gang of bikers in nasty white outfits), they decide to pay a visit to Earth, where they encounter trouble with a pack of rock and roll thugs led by Frankie (Craig Sheffer), who isn't happy when his girlfriend Dee Dee (also Zadora) shows an interest in the aliens' commander, ABCD (Tom Nolan).

Sounds straight-forward enough, but the whole thing is imbued with a surreal strangeness, from a robot that transforms into a mobile fire hydrant, to a teleportation phone booth, to a toxic lake that is home to a giant tentacle. Then there's the small matter of the escaped homicidal maniacs, one of which is played by Michael Berryman, who falls for Dee Dee's best friend Diane (Alison La Placa) when she helps to mend his chainsaw. Part cheesy '80s sci-fi, part '50s beach party movie, and part new-wave post-punk musical, but ALL bizarre, this is a perfect 'midnight movie' viewing for those who enjoy offbeat trash from the decade that taste forgot.

7/10 (with the potential for a higher rating on repeat viewings).