The Quest

Yes, this is worse than "Hardcastle and McCormick." Worse than "Sonny Spoon." Worse than even "The A-Team."

After Prince Charles and Diana's big wedding the previous year, royalty was on everyone's mind, including Cannell's, and so he concocted what was intended to be a light-hearted adventure series, but it ended up a light-headed mess.

"The Quest" (not to be confused with the 1976 Kurt Russell series) was about King Charles, monarch of a tiny European kingdom, who was at death's door and had no heir. For reasons best forgotten, he chose four American strangers and persuaded them to participate in an around-the-world "Amazing Race" style competition for the throne. The king chose the countries they traveled to by throwing a dart into a map. The second episode found them in a Hollywood simulation of Africa, complete with stereotypical cannibal tribes and headhunters (in 1982!).

There had to be a villain in such proceedings, of course, and so we had Count Dardinay, who claimed the throne as his and set out to destroy the contestants with a tenacity Wile E. Coyote would envy. Frankly, Dardinay would have made a better king than any of the Americans.

Cannell even threw in the usual catchy Mike Post theme song, whose lyrics have all the subtlety of a jackhammer: "Kings and queens/ It's a race for a place in the royal celebration/ Hopes and dreams /Shining like the jewels in a golden crown,/ Kings and queens/ It's the time of your life and you know it's all or nothing/ Just like kings and queens."

After only a handful of episodes, "The Quest" lost its quest for viewers, and it died a quicker death than King Charles.