Version: English dub
I always thought Wei Lo made bad movies. He has such a reputation, and having only ever seen some of his later movies, I had concluded that this reputation was justified. I shall admit now that I was wrong, so very wrong. Watch 'Killer Meteors' and choke on your words, as you discover Wei Lo's directorial brilliance.
Sure, this just another cheap release by Siren, keen on taking any movies that feature an early Jackie Chan (before he was even famous in Hong Kong) and cashing in on his now famous name. Before I would have called Siren "greedy bastards", but I just had a thought: Maybe someone at Siren realized that if they released and advertised it as starring Jimmy Wang Yu, few people would be bothered to view this fine piece of cinema. But! If they made it seem as if Jackie Chan was the star, then more people would have the pleasure of seeing the greatness that is 'Killer Meteors'.
Jimmy Wang Yu stars in this as the Killer Meteor, a fighter whose secret weapon - the killer meteor, obviously - makes him invincible. I don't recall his character ever having a real name, so I can only assume that his parents actually named him Killer Meteor, and he worked on it from there. Anyway, Killer Meteor generally spends most of his time sleeping on a rock, accepting gifts from various people for reasons that aren't explained very well. Or at all. Killer Meteor finds himself employed by the villainous Jackie Chan, who is dubbed as the "Immortal" Wa Wu Bin. Ironically, Wa Wu Bin is very sick and close to death, thanks to his wife, Lady Tempest. Wa Wu Bin needs Killer Meteor to retrieve the antidote from Lady Tempest's cave, but first, Killer Meteor needs to defeat her bodyguards: a man who throws needles with deadly accuracy; a dude with hands so magnetic, that he can use them to attract objects that aren't even magnetic; a human microwave; and a fighter so cunning, that we never actually see him being cunning.
I must say that 'Killer Meteors' is one of the most confusing movies I've ever seen. Be prepared for levels of confusion that 'The Matrix' and 'House of Flying Daggers' could only dream about. There are about a billion double-crosses, a few billion more 'twists' in the story, and many characters who seem important yet seem to disappear for most of the movie. Throw in the most hilarious dub ever, and 'Killer Meteors' shapes up to be one of the awesomest movies ever.
But where would it be without the kung-fu awesomeness? Granted, there is not as much kung-fu awesomeness as I expected there would be. It is pretty hard to find time to have characters beat each other up when they're all so busy explaining to each other why they are being double crossed. Something like that. The fights pretty much define 70s kung-fu movies: very bad dialog during the fight, some rather poor fight editing, and most importantly - THE KUNG FU SUPER POWERS! Oh yes, 'Killer Meteors' is filled with kung fu super powers, and is another of those movies where *everybody* knows kung fu. Awesome.
So when you watch 'Killer Meteors' - and I must insist that you do - I hope you come to the same conclusion I did, and apologize to Wei Lo for ever doubting him. 'Killer Meteors' is a cinematic masterpiece. Well, maybe not a technical masterpiece, but it is a fine example of cinematic awesomeness, and in the end, awesomeness is all that really matters. 'Killer Meteors' transcends a numbered rating system, for a number cannot describe the awesomeness and the entertainment value of this movie, and so it is awarded this simple rating: pure awesomeness.
