T.I.T.S Bouncing Above the Law

Stormy Daniels' directing career has been dealt a severe blow by her new employers at Digital Playground, after building a quality body of work for over a decade at Wicked Pictures. Horrendous post-production on "T.I.T.S" (title on screen missing a final period) makes it nearly unwatchable.

The color grading is very poor, rendering the visuals color-drained and washed out. It reminded me of 16mm film prints back in my film collecting days before Beta & VHS hit the market: color-faded to a light-toned near-monochrome.

Proving this is an inept flaw, the brief BTS short subject on the DVD has the same scenes being shot but presented in full color. In the past year I've encountered a half dozen defective DP releases, notably ones where the contents of the DVD incorrectly don't match the packaging: wrong film.

Stormy's work here is slack, beyond the poor color. This tale of three lady cops after a crime lord (Derrick Pierce) who's stolen a valuable set of art dildos (perhaps created by Basquiat or some other luminary I presume) goes nowhere and doesn't even have a proper ending at all, DP apparently hoping to perpetrate a sequel.

Casting is quite weak, with starlets Honey Gold and Whitney Wright giving routine performances, and veteran Monique Alexander hitting way below her weight class. Derrick is the only male sex performer, with old cronies Jack Vegas, Jake Jacobs and Dick Chibbles in NonSex roles.

Title is wholly irrelevant, besides being idiotic, as none of these ladies are known for their breasts.