House of Inequity

Ah, what a cinematic masterpiece we have here. This movie was so bad, it's hard to know where to begin. The plot was about as exciting as watching paint dry. I kept waiting for something, anything, to happen, but it was like watching a snail crawl across a sidewalk.

The acting was so wooden that I thought I was watching a ventriloquist act. The lead actor delivered every line like he was reading from a teleprompter, and the supporting cast was no better. I'm pretty sure they hired the extras from a local community theater.

And let's talk about the dialogue. It was like the writers had never heard human beings speak before. Every line was so cringeworthy that I felt secondhand embarrassment just listening to it. I'm pretty sure I heard the sound of Shakespeare rolling in his grave.

But hey, at least the special effects were good, right? Wrong. The effects were so bad that I'm pretty sure they hired an intern to do it on their lunch break. The monster looked like a cross between a chicken and a frog, and the explosions looked like something you'd see in a low-budget video game from the 90s.

Overall, I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone unless you're looking for a guaranteed way to waste your time and MBs. Save yourself the trouble and go watch a cat video on YouTube instead.