I enjoy bad movies. I am rarely compelled to journal my thoughts on them. I do not get a kick out roasting low budget movies, but I am so disappointed by Magellan that I can't resist sharing my thoughts. I think the problem lies with the fact that I wanted so much to like this movie.
As stated above, this would have made a classic episode of The Twilight Zone back in 1964. We would think of the Major Nelson episode as representing that series instead of Willam Shatner looking at a gremlin on the wing of an airplane. Sadly, this was a movie made in 2017 and not 30 minute black and white piece of nostalgia.
Not every film has big budget sets, but that's no excuse for how poorly executed this film was even given it's obviously minimal budget. A suspension of disbelief aside, even if we throw out a basic understanding of high school physics, it's a bit hard to swallow a story this lacking in even kindergarten science in the 21st century.
In the abandoned rental hall that served as the astronauts's home on Earth, they couldn't even bother to completely scratch off the "for rent" sign on the kitchen window. On a frozen moon, he had to siphon some gas with a hose. Its shocking they didn't complete the scenario by Nelson sucking on the tube with his mouth to get the flow started. At least opening his face mask would remove some of the condensation visible on his helmet. How much more would it have cost to have a suit that pretended to be air tight?
For a giant spaceship with two rooms, perhaps it would have made sense to draw the cartoon ship a bit smaller. A smaller ship might even explain the reason only a single man was sent to complete potentially the biggest discovery in the history of mankind.
If you are a fan of the American version of The Office, you can't help but think of the Dinner Party episode when Major Nelson tells his artificial copilot to put his messages up on the "big" screen. It was akin to Micheal Scott showing off his 13 inch plasma TV.
They worried about Chinese hackers when the only visible equipment was one tiny Korean television, a laptop, and a 1950s glove box. His insistence on touching the alien artifacts reminds one of the Ren & Stimpy episode where he was warned never to touch the big shiny red button. (Didn't that take place on a spaceship too?) Once all three objects were collected, it was of concern which intimate body part he was going to rub on the next once both hands were full.
The whole wife story was pretty much superfluous considering how little thought Major Nelson gives her in the end. It's unclear if we are supposed to like the astronaut character or not. If he is indeed the man who always follows orders and loves his wife we are shown in the first half of the movie, then the AI isn't the only one in this movie to have his firmware corrupted.
Calling this movie Magellan is a bit of a stretch, the name denotes an epic journey of discovery. Maybe calling it Hudson after explorer Henry Hudson might be more apropos. He went on an epic journey and against orders and better judgement got his ship and crew marooned and frozen to death.
