"Tatlong Baraha" easily appears as the lowest valued card among the suit of Metro Manila Film Festival (MMFF) entries. Whether or not blockbuster-oriented movie-goers will flock to see it (they won't) or whether its lead stars would have enough firepower to topple Enteng down from the top of the local box office (they won't) is not what matters.
Laughable for all the wrong reasons, this wildly uneven film starring the Lapid triumvirate - father and senator Lito Lapid, and sons Mark and Maynard - benefits from the fact that it's not as atrocious as the environmentalist-wannabe "Apoy sa Dibdib" ng Samar", nor does it take itself as seriously as "Batas Militar", both starring Mark Lapid who seems unaware that the 80s haves long passed and that lowbrow shoot-em-up action flicks are things better cherished in morning cable TV. And whoever thinks hard while watching a film that has a hunchback character obviously with a pillow strapped on his back has issues that need to be addressed immediately. Besides, this latest attempt from Violett Films fares better than its pitiful attempt to cash on Manny Pacquiao's popularity. (What, you never heard of last year's "Lisensyadong Kamao"?)
Before you get me wrong, "Tatlong Baraha" is not a good movie. It's like saying I'm sincerely amused by Bearwin Meily's constant high-pitched voice. The Lapids have no charisma whatsoever and their acting abilities are limited from filling their faces with vacuous seriousness to heavily delivering their lines like a mayor delivering a public message written on an idiot board. At least, they get the joke and when you hear them simultaneously say "Itanong mo sa pulis (Ask the police)," you know they're here merely for the ride. In fact, I was half-expecting a line that would go like, "Puno lang ng saging ang may puso (Only the bushes of banana grow hearts)!" Classic, that line, I tell you.
Apparently written to appeal to families and thus capitalize on MMFF's holiday time-frame, the plot contains some fantastical elements that would surely do Vic Sotto proud. But the rest consists of the usual shebangs that haunt action flicks in general. After an ill-placed opening sequence with Meily doing some asides and storytelling, the film cuts to 19th century Philippines where locals are victimized by ruthless Spanish military authorities. Among those on the losing end of such oppression are a horse aficionado (Lito Lapid), a crazed riffraff (Mark Lapid) and a hunchback toller (Maynard Lapid). After being left for dead after an attempted insurgency took place, a mysterious figure gives them powers to be the poor man's Zorros - Leon Guerrero (Lito), Julio Valiente (Mark) and Zigomar (Maynard). (If the names don't make you cringe, you're used to it.) Collectively, they are known to the public as "Tatlong Baraha (Three Cards)" and it's their job to turn the tides over to the oppressors.
Meanwhile, a Spanish officer, Faustino (Monsour del Rosario), has made a pact with the dark forces that in exchange for gaining some sort of supremacy, he will help the devil in spreading evil all over the country (as if the widespread corruption isn't enough). So a reincarnated Faustino comes to 21st century Philippines and employs the aid of zombies, "aswangs", "kapres", white ladies, and ugly-looking clowns to terrorize a group of - surprise! - boy and girl scouts and orphans (the kids of "Goin' Bulilit!"). But worry not, kids. The "Tatlong Baraha" (or their latest incarnation, at least) are here and they have also caught up with modern times with Phoemela Barranda monitoring them from their secret headquarters equipped with a satellite dish from outer space.
Toto Natividad's direction, the cinematography, and editing are middling at best with the quality of support acting you more or less expect from a film like this. The score isn't one to write home about but if you've ridden a bus or an FX in Manila many times enough, your ears might be able to take it in without much further damage. Despite the negative implications carried by its unrefined publicity, "Tatlong Baraha" is not a terribly appalling film. However, it still largely veers off from the "so bad it's good" feeling to garner a recommendation.
