In my life, Pre-Princess Promenade, I was a mess. A miserable buffoon who walked around spouting racist vulgarities, shoplifting from The Goodwill and punching random toddlers in the face. My life was empty and in desperate need of something to provide fulfillment. I was on the verge of suicide when an amazing thing happened. This movie came on and I immediately felt a surge of life shoot through my veins! I had finally found that missing piece and my life felt complete!
I took the razor away from my wrist and ran out onto the street where I began hugging everyone I could find. I grabbed an old lady and after she stopped screaming, I hugged her tight and whispered "You are special and I love you." I was overcome with a brand new positive attitude!
When the cops came I gave each of them a big kiss on the cheek and told them I understood why my face was being held to the hood of the car and that they were both really good at their job. Life had new meaning!
That night in jail I walked up to a group of ruffians and sat down. I told them their game of spades would have to wait, for I had something amazing to share with them. I told them all about this wonderful little movie called "My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade" and how it had really changed my life. I don't think many of them were quite ready for my message of hope, but I believe that I touched some hearts that night. Later on I let everybody know that I was not upset and that I thought my two new black eyes really complimented the color of my face. I was now literally seeing the world through a brand new pair of eyes!
Well, needless to say, this film affected me very deeply. It is a powerful story about what it means to really be alive. It is, without a doubt, the single greatest achievement in cinematic history and is comparable to "Citizen Kane" and "The Godfather". It will continue to change lives and live forever in the hearts and minds of those who it has already touched.
A very heartfelt thank you goes out to the amazing filmmakers! You, my friends, should be seriously considered for a Nobel Peace prize, for I believe that a few more movies of this caliber could bring an end to hunger, poverty and war. Thank you!
