Way of the Vampire

Imagine a movie with terrible actors, ghastly bad special effects, an anorexic plot, and no budget.

This is worse.

Please don't get me wrong...I love vampire movies...but this is one major waste of money..both to make, and for ANYONE to pay to see.

As I watched the movie, I could see the director coaching the actors, "ok..now look scared...now...look horrified...now succumb...now go limp. It was painful to watch.

Have you ever put "fake fangs" in your mouth to finish your Dracula costume at Halloween? Do you remember how funny you sounded talking with the prosthetic teeth? OMG...the actors lisped their way thru their lines like kids who have just put in their first cheap vampire fangs. Do you think the director/producers/anyone notice this? I am guessing not.

The dialog was shallow and seemed penned by a teenager. (The producer's 8th grade child maybe?) The volume of the voice recording was out of balance with effects and background music. In order to hear and understand the dialog, you are required to elevate the volume so high that the "special effects sounds" become deafening.

The action was limited, and the combat second rate. The actors lacked the combat/martial arts skills you expect to see in a movie of any caliber. The vampires movements were inconsistent and downright silly...sometimes they moved like listless zombies, other times like speed freaks, and still other times they "slinked" with bended knees, swaying arms and drunken swaggers as if trying to pretend to be cats.

If this had been a movie with which I was in any way affiliated, I would never include it in my resume. Further, I think I would change my name if anyone ever discovered a connection! Rating: Less than 1/10 (if that is possible)