In Aphrodite

Just horrible, there is no other way to sum up this piece of crap. This is probably the worst porno movie that I've ever seen, and that is saying a lot considering that I've seen hundreds of them. If not the worst porno I've seen than definitively in the top 5 worst porno's.

The basics for a really good porno is there and that is what bugs me even more. We have the really good looking women in this one. High class pussy, like for example Devon (in her prime), can be seen in this. And for me it doesn't get much better than Devon in her prime, when it comes to looks. We also get to see sex scenes of all different kinds in this one, so there should really be something for everyone. We get boy girl scenes, lesbian scenes, girl bangs, threesomes both with one guy and two chicks and two guys and one chick, orgies and even double penetration. That sounds like a really good porno to me, but unfortunately this one manages to disappoint more than any porno before.

Well, what is the problem you might ask. For starters they use condoms in this one. But that is to be expected when you are dealing with Vivid. Now the condoms are only a minor problem. This would still have been a solid 8 maybe even a 9, despite the condoms, if the rest was done professionally.

The biggest problem with this one is the editing. The camera is all over the place. We only get about 5 seconds before the angle changes in the scene. And every time it changes, it is done with the see through method, so you see the previous angle and the new angle at the same time for about a second or two. There are also way too many close ups in this movie. The other big problem is the filming of the scene. It is done in very dark looking places, with plenty of smoke everywhere and blinking disco lights all over the place. I must say that I didn't get a boner once during this film, despite trying very hard. Not even in the scene with Dasha taking on two guys at the same time. Usually a scene were a hot and horny blonde, who can't get enough, receives multiple cocks at the same time, do the trick for me. But not even seeing Dasha get double stuffed could get a boner out of me. And that is really a sign of a epic fail if anything. Well at least there were some nice extra scenes on the DVD that I could jerk off to...