2003 MTV Video Music Awards

Apart from the always funny host Chris Rock, a great opening by Britney, Christina and the queen of pop Madonna and of course some minor gags and clips(the Snoop Dogg/Sandler one being the highlight), the 2003 VMA's were merely a big commercial for the hip hop artists. I don't know what's changed so drastically in the last few years but I really miss the days when the likes of Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Guns'n' Roses and other great bands were up on those stages. Back then the show really rocked (and not just because rock itself was more popular) but because they didn't complicate it with outrageous and lavishing sets and because they truly kept it real. Maybe they were more financially limited and couldn't afford it but they were true to themselves. Now it's DMX at the red carpet, tickling his crotch and advertising his clothes label. "U'know what I'm sayin'". No bitch, YOU don't know what you're sayin'! You should be happy they even invited your punk ass since you screwed them on two former occasions. And he goes:"Yeah, this year I decided to show up. Know what I'm sayin'." All I know is somebody definitely ought to whoop your raggedy ass up! To teach you some manners before your left arm gets permanently attached to your dick. Or 50 cent all dressed up in a ridiculous outfit, of course made by Armani and s***(if you saw this you probably noticed he was just dying to share it with the world). Wow, should we be impressed you can afford it? You've got more money than you ever dreamed of having and here you are bragging about a stupid pimpish suit and chunks of tasteless jewelry. Dressed all gangsta and s***. BITCH PLEASE, if he wanted to look dope or supa fly he failed miserably.

The other day there was this show on MTV about the Playboy girls, entertaining rock stars when they were on tour or something. And they show Shaggy having a blast with these girls, taking them to Six Flags, everybody enjoying themselves all day and then dancing the night away in a club or something. And then they show Ja Rule. He arrives from the airport and gets in the limmo with these girls and the first thing he does is take out this plastic bag, filled with 100 dollar bills. The girls ask him why he's carrying so much cash with him and he says he had no room for it on his plane (or something even more stupid). See, the first thing he did was show them he's got money because in his pea sized brain he thinks the girls would go for that. THEY ALREADY KNOW YOU HAVE CASH, YOU IDIOT! DO YOU HONESTY THINK HUGH HEFNER WOULD LET YOU BE AROUND THESE GIRLS IF YOU DIDN'T. And I don't even need to explain how his day with the girls looked like. He must have thought he was on "Cribs" because he couldn't resist showing off his car collection. Chris Rock said it best; they just have to show you the crap they buy.

Have you ever seen a rapper on "Cribs" who didn't have a Ferrari, Hummer and a Mercedes. Why do they all have the exact same cars? If I ever have that kind of cash I know I'd want to have a car nobody else had. Custom made everything, hell I'd design it. If I were into cars, that is. I just find it incomprehensibly stupid that people have such lack of taste. They think big brand names are a status symbol. Why they can't look beyond that is beyond me. The smartest and funniest answer I found was in a book entitled "Rock This", ironically written by the host himself - Chris Rock.

Here's a clip: '"There's a huge difference between black music videos and white music videos. Music videos are mostly based on fantasy. But because white people have done almost everything, including become president and gone to the moon, their fantasies are a little more out there. It seems that in white videos there's an endless supply of ideas. You can't predict what you're going to see; a person turning into an egg, then morphing into a church, then falling like strawberry rain. Black music videos are much more limited, and sad. It's like they have a checklist. -black leather couch -jacuzzi -nice car -dancers -champagne If these are our fantasies, imagine how we live."

Maybe he's got a point, but if dressing up with huge diamonds and pretending to be all that once they make it into stardom is the result of these people that's even sadder.

VMA's are becoming more and more serious. Everybody has to look just right, there's less and less room for authenticity and spontaneity. Even the stars said the best parts about these awards are the unexpected ones, but when they're all so tight assed nothing like that will ever happen. That's why I prefer the European VMA's. They're still a bit on the amateur side and that's what's great about them. They're not all that concerned with how the stars are going to look on stage, that's up to them. At least that's the vibe I'm feeling. Felt that is; hope this year Puff Daddy and similar will not bes hosting. Because he just had to show he had cash as well - remember the free champaign or something that he had waiters waiting around. Come on, it's a huge crowd, what'd he expect. Of course they spilled every ting the first couple of feet they made.

Countless painfully long and repetitive commercials didn't help the 2003 VMA's either. Thank God I taped it. If nobody at the 2003 VMA's said "u know what I'm sayin' " or "u feelin me" the show (including the red carpet) would be over in under two hours. For real! 4/10