Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft

The good: Fivel Stewart really does know how to fight and the five seconds they show of her doing so are great.

The bad: the script, the directing, and utter lack of depth, suspense, climax, or action. I will forgo critiquing the acting as the direction and virtually every technical aspect of the film are just so bad that it is impossible to tell if the acting was any good, they were never given a chance to act. There are significant flaws in continuity within scenes dealing with lighting, costume, tears, etc. It feels like the entire film takes place over a 2-3 day period while the story line is likely intended to span a much greater period of time. As a teen movie, the eye candy was so poorly used that the movie is a total flop in that regard. The direction of Courtney Turk and Tyne Stecklein would have been great - if they were doing a fashion photo shoot, but otherwise completely unnatural. Our local high school does a better job with their annual play and musical productions. I would revise my critique if it turned out that this was written, directed, and produced by a ten year old with a movie program on his new computer after seeing Buffy the Vampire Slayer ... if it were, some amount of courtesy applause would be due, after your neighbor poked you with an elbow to wake you up.

Sadly, this production is just bad without any of the redeeming qualities of a laughably bad movie like "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" or "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". What I would like is the phone numbers of the people who paid a million dollars to make this as I am certain I could come up with something far more entertaining.