Rise of the Fellowship

Sharing some cinematic DNA with 2002's "Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings", "Rise of the Fellowship" is another Mid-Atlantic lensed, low-budget fantasy epic that lucked into a wide release by being marketed as a quickie "Lord of the Rings" cash-in. "Fellowship" can at least boast the nice professional look of a Syfy or Lifetime original, but past that, "Max Magician" wins out in this dubious race to the top of the Walmart cut-out bin since it actually has some plot and structure-- cliché, simple- minded and predictable though it may be.

"Fellowship", on the other hand, is just a clumsy stringing together of imagery from the "Lord of the Rings" without regard to coherence or meaning; it's like being trapped in an elevator with a foaming-at-the-mouth Peter Jackson ultra-nerd ranting along the lines of "Remember that scene where that thing happened? Wasn't that great? And that other scene where that other thing happened? So awesome! And then that...." Within five minutes of watching this film, you'll seriously consider taking your own life; after ten minutes, your loved ones will be making funeral arrangements.

Normal folks with critical thinking facilities intact will want to steer clear of this but if you're an undiscriminating dork who's a sucker for shameless fan boy pandering, bring a large spoon because you'll want to savor every delicious drop. Bon Appétit!