Girls Lie

In any field it helps to know what you're doing, even as Wild West a profession as working in Adult Entertainment. The director/producer team of Eon McKai and Malachi Ecks clearly fail this test, the results on display in "Girls Lie", an amateur night porno that unsurprisingly was nominated for a slew of unmerited industry awards a decade ago.

Viewed dispassionately today, it has nothing to offer that justifies 2 hours of one's attention. The slickly packaged video has bonus features that are revealing. Malachi complains about Vivid (this is made for Vivid-Alt, supposedly cutting edge stuff), comparing their square product to what he considers typical Hollywood junk, oddly citing Paramount's "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle". Would that he had just a sliver of the talent of Curtis Hanson, an independent-minded filmmaker responsible for that hit, which incidentally was from Diney, not Paramount.

Director McKai, who fancies himself a big cheese on the scene, has a couple of Alibi Ike segments in bonus: one lengthy hump scene for Dana DeArmond that he threw away, but through the magic of DVD gets to include outside of the edited feature anyhow, and a dumb whining session about a house he rented to shoot said scene that got him ticked because the owners made many demands on keeping the place intact for their return, evidently interfering with his artistic freedom. He explains how he likes to work spontaneously, and the feature is a jumble of unscripted and pointless scenes as a result.

Eon comes from the cult of ugliness school, not the Max Hardcore gonzo approach so widely (almost universally by now in Adult) imitated, but just ugly settings and punk-styled casting. His four title girls don't seem to be lying any more than anybody else, but the title is as meaningless as the footage he handed in to the clueless Vivid execs who hired him.

Charlotte Stokely affects a dumb voice as a prostie, who gets to hump a newcomer with zero talent William Wood, he of the over-long but always limp dick school established long ago by Johnny Wadd. Dana DeArmaond, shot before her current trademark hairstyle bangs, hams it up in usual fashion as a two-timer, whose infidelity is no big deal dramatically, in context.

Riley Mason has the juiciest role as a girl with a nose ring who lies to her partner about her out of town modeling gig which we find is a porno shoot with Tom Byron, the video's name guest star. Pixie Pearl is a punk-styled femme probably cast for demographic reasons.

The many sex scenes are mechanical and uninteresting, even when Dana brings her usual energy to bear. Improvised dialog is poor throughout, and trendy junk like Julius Ceazher on board for IR action falls flat. Danny Wylde is billed just as Daniel as a gay boy who wants to try boy/girl action, with hooker Stokely obliging in an unsatisfying finale which has a zero-impact open ending.