Hellblock 13

Let it be said: This movie isn't very good. It runs the gamut from boring to stupid to ugly to cheap. Sometimes it achieves all four of those things at once.

It's an anthology flick with three short stories, but they move so slow you'll feel like you're watching a six hour pain-fest. In the first unengaging tale, a woman's kids are missing, and some dull things happen. Then there's "White Trash Love Story", by default the best segment in the movie, although it moves so slow you'll be asleep before the pretty good effects at the climax. Then there's the embarrassing tale of the over-age bikers who try to resurrect the late "Big Rhonda", mainly through some "hot" girl-on-girl action.

The film's saving grace is the beautiful Debbie Rochon's fun performance as the jailed serial killer Tara, who spins the pathetic tales of "terror". Luckily this movie is available on DVD, so you can skip directly to her parts in the movie.

But you're not gonna wanna even watch that much, because this movie really stinks. It falls below even Troma's admittedly low quality standards. Perhaps if they packed it with ideas like "Tromeo & Juliet" and gave it a sense of humor it would have been bearable, but as it stands, it is a big juicy crap burger.