I don't know where to begin. I watched this movie after reading some unfavorable reviews and knew what I was up against. I had zero expectations and decided to catch a screening only because I had time to kill and this movie had the best ratings out of the many that were being screened. Unfortunately, I underestimated the true potential for Indian cinema's bizarrely terrible mainstream products. This was perhaps the highlight of amateurish modern-day direction and the writing was only a shade better to begin with, but oh boy, did that change fast.
I'd hate to spoil the movie for you, but let me just say that there is plenty of action, all of which is the most non-sensical bullshit produced this year. There is plenty of drama; perhaps a tad extra for my taste but nothing out of the ordinary for a Bollywood film trying its best to be serious. There is plenty of humour, all of which is wrought with so much cringe that your face hurts from contorting it into odd shapes and forms. And then there is the absolute insanity that is Kangana Ranaut's performance as a five year-old child.
But hey, maybe you enjoy shitshows like the vast majority of Indian audiences that patronize cinema halls across the country. Maybe you enjoy shoddily written character plots, bad acting, abysmal direction, and the occasional racial stereotyping portrayed so conveniently. Maybe you just love seeing glimpses of a foreign country you've never been to and dream of settling down in for god-knows-what reason and seek inspiration only through fictional films that have no semblance of reality. But hey, maybe you're just an idiot.
In short, Simran was a traumatising experience and I doubt I could watch another Bollywood film this year because I might have just developed a new phobia.
