Raiders of the Lost Shark

I like trash movies. I like shark movies. So, being really spoiled by Asylum, I thought: Aww, come on, for just 5.99€, this can't be bad. Or... Can it? Well... Yes, it can. This is an amateur movie released on DVD. And it's so incredibly DUMB on so many Levels... There's minor things (Why is he leaving his socks on as he wants to join the hottie in the water?) to really, really, REALLY stupid stuff (Whats a scientist doing all alone in the middle of the woods?) and some stuff which will make you just shake your head (no blood in a decapitation scene, but when there's a flesh explosion they just take a bucket of badly done fake blood and throw it into the actors face)... The acting isn't present, I haven't watched it in English, but the German dub, so I can't say anything about the original voices, but the facial expressions are just... Ugh! German sincere is on the Level of "let a bunch of drunk people yell into an iPhone". Not even the music is any good. Uhm, have I mentioned the Shark is just a still picture? It's a PICTURE in front of a moving background. Yes, the thing can fly. For whatever reasons.

Don't buy this. Don't rent this. Don't even STEAL this, it's not even worth that. The only good thing about this movie is: It's only 60-some minutes, and at least the end credits song isn't THAT bad. Still bad, but it's the only light at the end of the tunnel.