The Girl on the Train

Wow, this film is in love with itself. Another reviewer described it as having flatulent dialogue, and quite frankly, I can't think of a better way to describe the film as a whole.

The first hour is literally just 3 or so people pontificating about love and the ideal dream versus reality and slow evolving the plot (if you can call it a plot). Then there's a brief flash of action, and even more pontificating about the inevitable and painfully obvious conclusion. I'm sure its supposed to be intellectual and insightful but ultimately its just a dressed up airport romance novel. The acting is OK; the direction passable; the premise is as tired and unoriginal as it is interesting; the script is big lumbering mammoth that bores you to the point of wanting to rip off your own arm and beat yourself to death with it; and it certainly does't deserve its sense of superiority.

I cannot see anything redeemable about this pretentious pile of crap. Don't bother wasting the hour and 20 minutes; You can get the same amount of blistering insight in to love and perception in a far, far, shorter time - via one episode of the Vampire Diaries... And at least that will give yo a laugh! This is so bad its not even funny.