A year or so ago, I decided to binge watch all the Amityville Horror films, or that is, the related-type films to that 1979 original that I could remember seeing in video stores back in the day and find those same movies that went directly to videocassette in that amazing era of the late 1980s through the 1990s.
These were the films that never went to the theater, and were never intended to do so.
Oh, they were all stupid. Every single one of them. All found mostly on the fantastic channel of Tubi (Love Tubi!) All films weak as expected, not scary, with bad story, and mostly poor performances, but still charming in a way with young, up and coming actors, or older actors just trying to stay busy or relevant. I even watched the 1990 version with the exact same title as here, and another version about a haunted lamp, yes, haunted lamp (Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes) it was by and far the worst, and yet neither of these films were close to as bad as this.
This is awful.
Miserable.
It's boring.
Bad acting.
Worse editing. (In the beginning, I couldn't tell if they were moving in or out)
It's bright. Yes, bright. The whole movie is way too lit (and not in a good way!) You can tell they were probably filming at night but blasting in spotlights through the windows to make it look like daytime.
People die unexpectedly and horrifically and none of the characters are frantically trying to reach emergency services or call anybody. Where's law enforcement? Family members and relatives afterwards? A funeral?
The human relationships are unbelievable, from friends to roommates to lovers. There is no chemistry amongst any of the parties involved.
Hey, I know this is low to no budget and it's Amityville #376, but that still doesn't exclude all of the above crimes if not transgressions.
As a matter of fact, this is where those little things like believability and emotional investment could have flourished here on screen.
In searching for this new title of this long, long, longtime franchise, unbelievably (maybe not so unbelievably) I came across other, more intriguing titles than this, such as Amityville Karen (Yes.), and Amityville in Space (Also, a definitive yes.)
So, skip this chapter, either watch the 1990 film of the same title (which is so bad, it's good-this is just plain bad-there's a difference!), or watch one of these more interestingly titled recent productions.
We all know this infinite trail of silly sequels will never terrify as the original did.
But this 2023 Amityville Curse is not a horror film, and should you describe it as such to your friends in discussions, when mentioning horror, please place it in air quotes.
I will also note here that I would gladly contribute to any group funding of a future production of Amityville Karen In Space.
